


Lark's Rising

by wellmet



Category: The Professionals
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-07 22:55:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11068800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wellmet/pseuds/wellmet
Summary: Bodie is a prisoner of his past but the song of a lark ascending frees him to love Ray. Inspired by 'A Lark Ascending' by Vaughan Williams.





	Lark's Rising

LARK'S RISING   
Meretseger (written in 1990   
under a different name)

Bodie sat still, unnaturally still, as his partner's voice stumbled into silence.

"So you see, Bodie, I love you and want you and …"

The silence was thick, tense as adrenalin readied muscles. It lengthened and Doyle shivered in a chill that only he could feel. He went to rise from the settee they shared but was stopped by a question.

"Why didn't you speak of this before?" In the half-darkness of the room Bodie's eyes were hidden is shadow and there was only his voice to judge his thoughts by.

The deep, cool voice was gentle, unshocked and from that Ray took courage.

"I was afraid," Ray wasn't too proud to admit it.

"Afraid that I might laugh? Might turn away?" Gentler, Bodie's voice probed into Doyle's thoughts.

"Yeah." It was a sigh, soft as love itself.

Bodie reached out to run a finger down one side of Doyle's face. "I love you, too." There was nothing in the tone to give any depth to the statement of fact.

"Oh!" Ray closed his eyes then leant closer to see into the shadowed dark eyes. "Really?"

A smile twitched Bodie's mouth and he lifted his right hand. "Cross my heart." He made the ritual gesture.

"Why didn't you ever say?" There was a faint tone of accusation in Doyle's voice.

"Because I never thought of more. Loving you was enough." Bodie looked to one side, away from the probing green fire in his partner's eyes and then back, allowing the man he loved to see the truth. "To love you, to be able to love, to feel some emotion other than anger after so long …," he stopped for a moment then continued, even more softly. "It was like … Like a prisoner condemned to solitary confinement in a dark underground cell for the rest of his life and then, through some kindness, some mercy totally unasked or deserved, he is told that his cell will have a grating through which he might see the sky and feel the air."

"Oh, Bodie." green eyes misty Ray leant forward to brush gentle lips over the other man's.

Bodie reached out to rest his strong hands on Ray's shoulders, feeling through fine cotton the warmth of flesh and muscle. "The prisoner would not ask for birds as well, would he?"

Doyle was unable to speak for a moment but finally he found his voice. "Let's see if we can fly, hey?" He stood and held out his hands.

Bodie took the offered fingers but instead of standing he pulled Ray back down beside him. When a frown twisted the fine brows he kissed it away. "There is something I must tell you first." There was an infinity of sadness in Bodie's voice. Hearing it Doyle said nothing, waiting to hear the words in loving silence. "For me there will be no birds."

Ray frowned again, in puzzled anger. "What's all this about birds? Tell me what you mean!"

Bodie sighed and straightened his shoulders. "I said I love you and I do. But you want me and I do not want you."

Like stones dropped into a dead sea the words fell into silence. Ray tensed and tried to pull his fingers free of Bodie's but he was held fast. With sudden violence he managed to pull away. Almost sobbing with pain and hurt and humiliation he wanted to leave. "Sorry to have bothered you."

"I did not say that you wanting me offended me." The words stopped Ray in his rush for the door and he turned back, eyes wide in the almost-darkness, trying to read the half-shadowed face of the man who was an enigma - now more than ever.

"What do you mean?" He could not leave if there was some chance.

"I mean if you want me you may have me." Bodie might have been proposing a game of squash or a jog in the park."

"Going to lie back and think of England are you?" There a sneer as well as well as anger in Ray's voice.

"No." Bodie shook his head and Ray saw the flash of teeth as he smiled. "I'm going to lie back and think of how wonderful it is that you love me."

Tempted, Ray hesitated then shook his head. He wanted a lover not some passive doll. "No. Thanks."

Bodie sighed. "May I explain?"

Ray thought a moment before nodding. He walked over to the light switch and turned on the ceiling light. He wanted to see clearly.

Bodie blinked in the sudden light. "Must we?" He wanted to do this in the soft half-darkness, not in a blaze of light. Seeing the pain in the star sapphires that Bodie's eyes had become Doyle went back to the switch and turned off the light. He knew his partner well enough to tell truth from lie, even in pitch darkness.

When Ray was settled again Bodie took his hands between his and took a deep breath. "In Africa I got used to sex with men and enjoyed it. Then, one day, something happened." Knowing that his words had raised the ex-coppers curiosity he shook his head. "No, I'm not going to tell you. But I can no longer take pleasure in male/male sex."

"But I can't …" Doyle was shocked that Bodie would let him be so selfish.

"Not even if I want you to?" Bodie pleaded. "Please, Ray."

There was something else that troubled Ray. "I don't think I could bear it when you needed a woman." He shook his head. "Better we don't start, I think." Bodie liked sex as much as he did and he would need some sexual outlet. He squeezed blunt fingers one last time, storing the memory of their strength and comeliness away in his heart. "Still friends?" If he had lost that, too, there would be no reason to go on living.

"If I have you close, if I'm allowed to love you and if you love me I won't need any more than that." Sex was a physical need, he could deal with it himself but the need for love was more than that and love had to come from another. From Ray.

"Bodie, you can't!"

"Would not the prisoner be glad to hear the songs of the birds, even though he could not see them?" Bodie asked. "For the songs of birds are most beautiful."

"But I would feel as I were using you." Doyle tried to explain how he felt.

"I will hold you close and I will kiss you. I will make you fly so high." Bodie smiled again. "So high that in my cell I will hear the song of the lark, high in the sky, unseen yet heard and I will know that the birds are there."

"If you say so." Doyle gave in to temptation and the pleading in the deep blue eyes. "Then yes."

"Come then." This time it was Bodie who stood, who led the way to the bedroom.

Ray had half-feared that he would find it distasteful making love to a passive partner but Bodie was not passive. He touched and kissed and held him close. He seemed to enjoy being kissed and touched in return and though his body did not react to the loving it was obvious that his heart sang with joy.

Having waited so long to touch the pale skin, to tangle his fingers in the soft silkiness of the dark hair, to kiss and tease, Ray's excitement mounted quickly and all too soon he was flying high as his body poured out his love in milky strands onto their skin.

Panting, Ray, rested his head on Bodie's chest, elated yet disappointed, too, that beneath his ear the steady unexcited beat of the other man's heart had not changed.

Bodie held Ray close and sensing how his lover felt he whispered gently into the darkness, "the lark sings such beautiful music that my cell is full of it and the sunlight brighter, the air fresher."

The words brought tears to Ray's eyes, that Bodie should have to be satisfied with so little, which was yet so much and he could not answer.

Then, in the silence of pre-dawn, from far above the grey city he heard a sound he had not heard since his childhood.

Somewhere in the free blue sky a lark sang, heralding the new day.

"I hear the lark, too, and it is beautiful," Bodie said quietly. 

Ray reached up to touch the lips that smiled back at his with his own. Bodie returned the kiss with surprising enthusiasm.

As Ray listened, slowly and uncertainly, the heart beneath his own heart began to beat a little faster.

This story was, of course, inspired by my hearing A Lark Ascending on the radio while I vacuumed.


End file.
